Wednesday, November 4, 2009

After an entire month spent discussing and analyzing this topic, I must admit that I'm still not entirely sure of its definition. It's not that I don't understand it, but I think that there are so many different definitions of this word and this concept that it would be impossible to define in one simple sentence. I see integrity take so many different shapes that I think it would be impossible, and frankly doing it a disservice, to define it.I see the lack of integrity. I saw it lack when we had the Leaders perform our "blame game" and watch with slight humor at how quickly they were to point fingers at one another. I saw it when I watched a student in the math office steal one of the answer sheets to his quiz off the teacher's desk once they left the room. I saw it in the Freshmen hallway on October 30 when one student stole one of my bags of candy I was handing out then refused to admit he had taken it.

But when I look past that, and I am able to experience such a magnitude of integrity all around me that it often becomes overwhelming. I can see integrity in the student that does not turn around and boo another class during an assembly. Or when a student chooses not to talk gossip about another standing in the same hallway. I see it in the store when a customer openly admits they were given too much change. And even tonight, before I sat down to scribe my thoughts on this matter, I found that one of my fellow commissioners has more integrity than I could have ever thought possible. It was profoundly moving to speak with them and a realization of how lucky I am to simply know this person.

Most of all, I have tried to find integrity within myself. I think part of that is recognizing that I am a flawed person, and yet I still try to live my life with intention, and honesty, and purpose. It is my sincere hope that if I have learned anything from this past month of class and the events that have transpired around it, it is that I will forever live a life to the best of my abilities. I will not dwell on what mistakes may have occurred. I will do the right thing in front of 3,000 people and within the four walls of my bedroom. And that I will refuse to give up on others, and on myself, even when I believe I can not forgive or move on.

I will look to the future, continue to put one foot in front of the other, and realize how truly blessed I am to be standing right here, right in this moment.